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angelfyre3989
03 April 2008 @ 12:08 am
Right, so I almost forgot about this part of livejournal. Posting your thoughts online. Well I suppose since I haven't been keeping up with my actual diary I should post something here.
I guess a big theme in my life recently has been patience. It seems everywhere I turn the only thing the universe is asking me for is patience. Well when I first thought about it I said, "sure" but a couple of months into waiting for the things I want and I have begun to realize just how hard waiting can be. Really try it sometime. I'm not a patient person by nature, I like to feel productive, like I'm working towards something. This limbo I'm in now is the craziest place I've been.
Picture this, a monk on a mountain top, meditating, breeze softly blows the grass around him and the birds chirp in the trees. This is the image I'm constantly drawing on to remind myself that a couple of months, even a couple of years, is not too long to wait for something that will be with me the rest of my life. That said I'm young. Shouldn't my life be going a mile a minute? Shouldn't I be diving head first into stupid situations and only realizing how much trouble I'm in later? Shouldn't I be making mistake after mistake so that when I actually grow older I'll have all this wisdom behind me? 'Cept I can't.
Have you ever just spent a time of your life doing nothing? I mean you really weren't productive at all. You just failed basically and you know it so you feel horrible and disappointed in yourself. Yeah, I mean we've all done that. That is not what waiting is like. You may be doing nothing but you are doing nothing for the right reasons. Still doing nothing is a lot harder than doing something.
Actually considering our times that's pretty surprising. Then again. I feel like our generation has so many more opportunities to do things than those that came before us 'cept we are actually doing less. My friends and I go to school in the middle of Greenwich village. So much to do right? Wrong. We do nothing. There have literally been days when I have done nothing but stare at my ceiling (the bump pattern on it makes it look like it's moving and, no, I was not on drugs at the time).
I don't really have any profound thoughts on the subject, just something I noticed. Anyway I'm going to go back to contemplating my man on the mountain.
I guess a big theme in my life recently has been patience. It seems everywhere I turn the only thing the universe is asking me for is patience. Well when I first thought about it I said, "sure" but a couple of months into waiting for the things I want and I have begun to realize just how hard waiting can be. Really try it sometime. I'm not a patient person by nature, I like to feel productive, like I'm working towards something. This limbo I'm in now is the craziest place I've been.
Picture this, a monk on a mountain top, meditating, breeze softly blows the grass around him and the birds chirp in the trees. This is the image I'm constantly drawing on to remind myself that a couple of months, even a couple of years, is not too long to wait for something that will be with me the rest of my life. That said I'm young. Shouldn't my life be going a mile a minute? Shouldn't I be diving head first into stupid situations and only realizing how much trouble I'm in later? Shouldn't I be making mistake after mistake so that when I actually grow older I'll have all this wisdom behind me? 'Cept I can't.
Have you ever just spent a time of your life doing nothing? I mean you really weren't productive at all. You just failed basically and you know it so you feel horrible and disappointed in yourself. Yeah, I mean we've all done that. That is not what waiting is like. You may be doing nothing but you are doing nothing for the right reasons. Still doing nothing is a lot harder than doing something.
Actually considering our times that's pretty surprising. Then again. I feel like our generation has so many more opportunities to do things than those that came before us 'cept we are actually doing less. My friends and I go to school in the middle of Greenwich village. So much to do right? Wrong. We do nothing. There have literally been days when I have done nothing but stare at my ceiling (the bump pattern on it makes it look like it's moving and, no, I was not on drugs at the time).
I don't really have any profound thoughts on the subject, just something I noticed. Anyway I'm going to go back to contemplating my man on the mountain.